Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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