He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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