At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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