Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
