M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
