i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
