Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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