I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
