is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Randomize
