and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I need water and some morals
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
