i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
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I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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