Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
