So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize