so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
