I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
