I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
