I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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