Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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