You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Pants are for mortals
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
