i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize