I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
