idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
ttyl tear gas
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
did you just send me my own nude
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
