So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
