Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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