There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize