D3 body, D1 cock
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
