cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
