why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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