My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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