I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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