Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I want to have your abortion
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
