So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
