we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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