bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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