This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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