I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize