I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
