I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
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You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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