You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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