He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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