I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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