when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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