Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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