Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
