DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
