wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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