he puts the penis in happiness.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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