Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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