Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize