Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
