So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
