Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
