New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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