I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
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